i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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