What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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