And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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