Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
