She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
