her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dignity is for republicans.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
