I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize