So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
