Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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