Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
we made out on top of his cat.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
