you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He keeps bees of course he's weird
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
