just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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