Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
