I want to walk on stilts...naked
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize