I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
