This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
