God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
