Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
