Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
