Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
