so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?