party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
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They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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