i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
did you just send me my own nude
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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