scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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