Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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