And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I woke up under a house in Key West
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
