the condom got lost in my hair
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Edward fifth and chaser hands
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
