"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
