He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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