I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My dick has a subreddit
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
