real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
