this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
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we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
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I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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