How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
