Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
