the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
