they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
