I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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