So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
