he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
