Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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