I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
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i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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