Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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