btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
