I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
