This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
