My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize