I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
