Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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