The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
