They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Randomize
