That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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